Joy-filled Approach to Handling Stress
I used to think that you could control the circumstances of your life so that you would have no stress. Toxic work environment? Get a new job. Conflicts with friends or family? Address it head on. Essentially, I thought there was a “fix” for all of life’s problems that could result in people living intrinsically and extrinsically peaceful lives. Recently, someone shared with me, “Life is stressful. We’re not going to get rid of it, but we can shift our relationship with stress.” That statement though simple, seemed like a revelation for me. There’s no amount of money, no family dynamic, no work situation that is void of stress. Certainly some situations are more stressful than others, but at some point, the stress is going to come. Unfortunately, stress can often have physical and mental effects. The question is…how are you going to respond? After all you can only control yourself and your response.
You can choose to stress out, let that affect your mood and cover up your joy OR you can find strategies that help you amplify your joy and reduce the stress that will inevitably come to your life. I choose the latter. Here’s a few things I am learning to practice:
Accept the moment as it is - Don’t look toward the past or the future, but be fully present in the moment. We often hear of people practicing mindfulness, this is exactly what is meant here as well. Our natural tendency is often to resist the moment when it is uncomfortable, but it’s usually less stressful to acknowledge and accept the moment as it is.
Identify the source of the stress you are experiencing - What is it? Be specific. If it’s work, what about work? A particular assignment? A difficult coworker? If it’s family, is someone sick or are your kids acting out? What about family is stressing you?
Create a strategy that will help reduce your stress -
Breathing - a deep breath can be really cleansing and help your body reset.
Recite a Mantra - Mantras can be great tools for grounding you when stressed. It takes the focus off of stressor, an effective distraction.
Pull and read an affirmation card - Affirmation cards can function similarly as mantras. Some of my favorite affirmation cards are from YettiSays, but you can also always create your own.
Create a stress playlist full of feel good music that helps you relax.
Sometimes you have to getaway from it all for a bit. Salamander and Miraval are two of my favorite rejuvenation spots, and anywhere in the Caribbean is pretty much my happy place. Where do you feel most relaxed? If you’re stressed, you may have to take some time to reset. Use your your PTO (if applicable), and actually unplug.
Some of these strategies have been in my stress management tool belt for a while, and yet when I am stressed, I don’t always remember to apply them. At times, the current stressor can feel unique and unprecedented causing a new sense of anxiety. If this ever happens to you, give yourself grace. You’re human. Learning how to cope with stress is a lifelong journey. If you notice this while still experiencing a stressful event, remind yourself of all the stressful situations you’ve made it out of and what strategies you employed then. Sometimes simply knowing you have a successful track record of making it through challenging times is all you need.
“We have the power to harness the energy stored within us and channel it in positive ways. “ ~Bruce McEwen